Quack Attack

Acrylic ducks.  Smol, feisty, crunchy, wait, spit that out.

I have a formidable, well trained army of ducks at my disposal.  
We include a FREE duck with every order to protect your parcel from customs.

This listing is for when you want MORE protection, it will add an extra 2x ducks to protect your parcel.

Your ducks volunteer their service, they are not conscripted, therefore we cannot promise certain colours.  Sometimes they have special features, like glowing in the dark, or being glittery.  Sometimes they have cool shades or cute pastel colours.  But they choose their appearance, neither you nor I have the right to force them to be someone other that their authentic duckself.  Who are you to ask them to be someone they are not?  They are helping you get your parcel safely and you respond by forcing societal norms on them?  That's appealing behaviour.  I'm not angry, just disappointed.